While I was slightly underwhelmed by the response to my limerick challenge, some people did rise to the occasion so, true to my promise, I made some illustrations to go with their creations.
From Bruce Goodman at Weave a Web
This lady was convulsed in a rage:
There was not enough room on the page.
They asked her address,
She made a big mess,
And said, It’s not my fault I come from Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu.
(This is the name of a place in New Zealand).
There was an old lady of Dorset
Who struggled to put on her corset
She turned to her maid
Who was bold, not afraid,
‘Don’t worry’ she said ‘we’ll just force it.’
There once was a handsome young lad
Who hated the limerick fad
But he did send his own
A few words just randomly thrown
To be told, oh so sad
That there wasn’t a prize to be had
Two from Eleni, who for some reason seems to be obsessed with hair!
Cat hair cat hair everywhere
‘It’s just too much’, I despair
I try to ignore it
But truly abhor it
It’s even on my underwear!
So here we all are, in quarantine
Thanks to this treacherous Covid -19
By the time this is all over
I’ll be a human pullover
Please don’t mistake me for Wolverine
From Goeff Le Pard at TanGental who couldn’t be bothered to write his own, but sent some by his father (who, by the way, has written some proper, lovely poems in his time)
(based on a sculpture of a writer in my garden)
A poet cast in concrete
Said, ‘I don’t wish to be indiscreet’
‘But it’s a bit of a sod,’
‘Stood here on my tod’
‘While your dog pees on my feet.’
(or his most tasteless)
‘Nose pickings’ said Mrs McGraw,
‘Have many uses, I’m sure’
‘For instance, by rolling
‘And folding and carefully molding’
‘You can make condoms, cheap, for the poor’.
(and then there is his non rhymer)
There was a young lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in the … lake
A man in a punt,
Stuck a pole in her… ear
And said, ‘You cant swim here, it’s private’.
Goeff apologises to readers who might think these a little tacky. I love the last one, but wasn’t about to make a drawing for the second one…
And one from me (continuing with my boot peeve theme)
There was a young man from Beirut
Who struggled to take off his boot
His sweetheart then said
Oh please, come to bed!
But he couldn’t untangle his foot
Heartfelt thanks to all contributors.
All this was meant for a bit of fun, but do you think there is a winner? Up to you to decide!