Tag: Limericks

And the winner is…

While I was slightly underwhelmed by the response to my limerick challenge, some people did rise to the occasion so, true to my promise, I made some illustrations to go with their creations.

From Bruce Goodman at Weave a Web

This lady was convulsed in a rage:
There was not enough room on the page.
They asked her address,
She made a big mess,
And said, It’s not my fault I come from Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu.
(This is the name of a place in New Zealand).

 



From Tialys(Tialys)

There was an old lady of Dorset
Who struggled to put on her corset
She turned to her maid
Who was bold, not afraid,
‘Don’t worry’ she said ‘we’ll just force it.’


From Anna:

There once was a handsome young lad
Who hated the limerick fad
But he did send his own
A few words just randomly thrown 
To be told, oh so sad
That there wasn’t a prize to be had

 




Two from Eleni, who for some reason seems to be obsessed with hair!


Cat hair cat hair everywhere
‘It’s just too much’, I despair
I try to ignore it
But truly abhor it
It’s even on my underwear!



So here we all are, in quarantine
Thanks to this treacherous Covid -19
By the time this is all over
I’ll be a human pullover
Please don’t mistake me for Wolverine

From Goeff Le Pard at TanGental who couldn’t be bothered to write his own, but sent some by his father (who, by the way, has written some proper, lovely poems in his time)

(based on a sculpture of a writer in my garden)


A poet cast in concrete
Said, ‘I don’t wish to be indiscreet’
‘But it’s a bit of a sod,’
‘Stood here on my tod’
‘While your dog pees on my feet.’


(or his most tasteless)


‘Nose pickings’ said Mrs McGraw,
‘Have many uses, I’m sure’
‘For instance, by rolling
‘And folding and carefully molding’
‘You can make condoms, cheap, for the poor’.

(and then there is his non rhymer)

There was a young lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in the … lake
A man in a punt,
Stuck a pole in her… ear
And said, ‘You cant swim here, it’s private’.

Goeff apologises to readers who might think these a little tacky. I love the last one, but wasn’t about to make a drawing for the second one…

And one from me (continuing with my boot peeve theme)

There was a young man from Beirut
Who struggled to take off his boot
His sweetheart then said
Oh please, come to bed!
But he couldn’t untangle his foot


Heartfelt thanks to all contributors. 
All this was meant for a bit of fun, but do you think there is a winner? Up to you to decide!

Anyone for a Limerick?

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I’ve seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

But limericks were not always bawdy. In fact the form was made popular in the 19th century by Edward Lear, a great believer in pure silliness. In 1846 he published A Book of Nonsense, which went through three editions and made limericks so popular that many people started using them to amuse, scandalise or satirise.



We used to have the Lear books and other collections of limericks, and as a child I read them so many times that I still remember my favorites. Here are some of them, interspersed with illustrations from the Lear books: 

There was an old man from Blackeath
Who sat on his set of false teeth
Said he with a start,
Oh lord, bless my heart
I’ve bitten myself underneath!!


I sat next to the duchess at tea
Distressed as a person could be
Her rumblings abdominal
We’re simply phenomenal
And everyone thought it was me!

 



A feisty young girl from St. Paul
Wore a newspaper dress to a ball
The dress caught on fire
And burnt her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.

The wonderful artist Edward Gorey also liked witty and sometimes unsettling verse, and joined the party with gusto: 

 

He illustrated the verse with his detailed ink drawings 

 




British wordplay and recreational mathematics expert Leigh Mercer (1893–1977) even devised the following mathematical limerick:




This is read as follows:

A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more

Quite clever, don’t you think?

Not to be outdone, I’ve produced a few limericks of my own over the years, some of which you might have seen, since I made illustrations to go with them for Inktober 2019. (Posted Here )


And so, dear readers, hoping I have sufficiently inspired you by now, I would like to urge you to send me your own efforts. We’re not talking about a competition here, just a fun thing to do. No prizes to be had, but if I get enough, I will do a post on them and make a few illustrations, too!
So come on, people, put your humorous thinking caps on!